Reflections
by InfinityStar
Summary: It's time for Logan and Barek to tell Maggie about their baby as they adjust to the situation themselves and discover what true friendship is all about.
1. Sorting It Through

**A/N: This is one for blucougar57, who suggested that Mike and Carolyn telling Maggie about their baby would make a good story, so I started there...and for everyone who wanted a sequel...**

**Thanks to The Confused One for her opinions on the hardest part of this story: the title. **

* * *

_**A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."  
- Proverbs 27:19**_

Maggie and Tommy were finally sleeping, Mike and Bobby had gone out and Eames had put in the movie _Nine Months_. She handed Barek a bowl of ice cream. Sitting at the other end of the couch, she watched her friend. "What?" Barek asked.

"I want to know how you feel."

Barek didn't have to ask about what. She sighed. "I think I'm still in shock."

"That tells me nothing, Carolyn."

"I don't know, Alex. Am I ready to deal with _two_ kids? Let's face it. I love Mike, but sometimes he's a lot of work."

Eames laughed. "Don't think Bobby's easy. Dealing with him is anything _but_ easy. They're guys...they're supposed to be a lot of work."

Barek sighed. "What do _you_ think, Alex? I'm having a baby...with Mike."

Eames gave it some thought. "Have you talked to him about it?"

"No. He won't talk. Not yet, anyway."

"He'll talk to Bobby."

"Probably. Why do they do that?"

"What?"

"Talk to each other before they talk to us."

"It's a good thing, Carolyn. They can work things out inside themselves when they talk to each other. Then they feel more in control of themselves when they come to us. That's important for them."

Barek sighed. "Men... So how did you feel?"

"About being pregnant? I loved it. Of course, we thought Maggie was Ricky's. I spent that entire pregnancy wishing she was Bobby's."

"Well, you got your wish."

"Fortunately."

"Suppose this baby is just like his daddy, like Maggie is so much like hers?"

"Don't drive yourself crazy with stuff like that. Just wait and see. When that baby is born, you won't care if he's like you or like Mike. You'll just love him...no matter what."

"Like I love Mike. No matter what he does or how stupid he's being, I love him."

"Right. I don't think this is going to be a bad thing, Carolyn. You've seen Mike with Maggie and Tommy. He's going to be a great dad."

"If he's half the father Bobby is, I'll be happy."

Eames smiled. "He'll be just as devoted."

Barek nodded slowly. "He thinks Bobby's a great dad. He's going to try to be like him."

"Well, there are worse things he could do."

"No kidding...and I think he's done half of them."

They laughed and Eames leaned back against the arm of the couch. "Okay, now tell me how _you_ feel. We know that the news didn't send Mike running for the hills. What about you?"

Barek was quiet for awhile. Finally she said, "It's going to take some getting used to. I never expected to have a baby. Ever. But I think it's a good thing. I see what you have with Bobby and the kids, and I sometimes find myself wondering if I could ever be that happy. Now I think that maybe that will happen. Mike is a great guy. Maybe this will secure things for us. We have a good relationship. I think this could be a good thing for us."

"So you're happy?"

"Yeah...I really think I am."

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Logan leaned against the wall, arms crossed, as Goren worked on clearing the pool table. When Logan hadn't said anything after he sank his fourth consecutive ball, Goren stopped and looked at him. He knew that distracted look. He rounded the table and tapped his shoulder. Logan looked at him for a moment. "Huh? Oh...is it my turn?"

"Go ahead. What's on your mind, Mike?"

Logan looked at the table. "Damn, Bobby. Where'd all the balls go?"

"Level with me, Mike. What's on your mind?"

Logan lined up his shot. "You're the genius. You have to ask?"

Goren watched him sink his ball. "You're worried."

"Damn right, I am. Do you think I'll be a good father?"

"Yes. Do you doubt it?"

"Maybe. You know what my mom was like...and my dad died, so he wasn't there to protect me from her...and I know he would have."

"At least you have a good role model, what you remember of your dad."

Logan sighed, turning his cuestick over in his hands. "How'd you do it, Bobby?"

"Do what?"

"Overcome your past."

Goren sighed. "I never let myself become my father. I used to think it would be a struggle, you know, to stay calm when things went wrong...to not overreact and take discipline too far. When Maggie was born, and I didn't know I was her father, I had no pressure on me to _be_ a father. So I just...developed a relationship with her. It kind of snuck up on me that I've actually _been_ a father to her all her life, from the moment they first laid her in my arms when she was a couple of minutes old. Now it's just...natural. I have no fears of becoming my father. There's no part of him in me. I watch you with my kids, Mike. I trust you with them implicitly. They love you. I think you're gonna be a great dad."

"And when I can't tell my kid 'no'?"

Goren smiled. "You have to trust that Carolyn will. I don't know what I'd do without Alex."

"We've already been there, man, and it's not a place I ever want to go again." He sighed. "So, if I ever call you in a panic..."

"I'll always be there for you, Mike," he said with a shrug, as if it were something Logan should already know.

Logan turned his attention back to the table. "So then, maybe, between the two of us, this kid'll turn out okay. I don't ever want my kid to know life without a dad." He looked down to take his shot, turning his eyes up toward Goren and amending, "A damn good dad."

He sank his ball and straightened up, looking thoughtful. "Um, how do you think Maggie's gonna take it?"

"I think she'll be fine with it. It'll almost be like having another sibling."

"I guess so. Uh...I don't guess I could get you to tell her, could I?"

Goren laughed. "Not a chance, pal. You did this, you take it all on your shoulders. I'll back you up, but this is all yours."

"Thanks a lot," he sighed. "I guess I can make a date with her, huh?"

"You can tell her however you want to."

"She'll like it if I take her out for dinner. Is tomorrow night okay?"

"Sure. But you better make sure you don't forget about Carolyn. I don't know about you, but having an angry pregnant woman out for my blood is definitely not my idea of fun."

"Yeah...I don't guess it would be. Shit...how the hell am I gonna go for nine months without pissing her off?"

"Seven months, Mike. She's already got two months behind her."

"That doesn't help much, Bobby."

Goren laughed. "You'll survive."

"Your couch may have a frequent occupant."

Goren nodded. "Just try not to piss off my wife at the same time, will ya?"

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."

He walked around the table to line up his next shot and he missed. "Crap."

Two shots later, Goren sank the eight.


	2. Do You Think I Should Ask?

Barek leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes, willing a wave of nausea to pass. "How did you do this three times, Alex?"

"I loved being pregnant."

"Yeah, well, you wanted to be pregnant and you wanted Bobby to be their father."

"And you don't want Mike to be this baby's father?"

"It's not that. I just...never expected to have a baby. It's not Mike. It's the whole thing. I hate feeling sick half the time and totally exhausted all the time."

"That will pass."

"And then I'll enter the beached whale phase."

Eames laughed. "It may seem like forever, but it only lasts a short time, Carolyn. Then you'll have a baby to love for the rest of your life."

"Bobby went to the doctor with you, right?"

"A couple of times when I was pregnant with Maggie because I asked him to. Then after the first visit when I was pregnant with Tom, he never missed an appointment. The nurses all thought he was sweet, but my obstetrician was very relieved when Tommy was born. He said he'd never known a dad with more questions than Bobby."

Barek laughed. "I wonder if Mike will even want to go. He hates doctors and hospitals. I think I'll be lucky if he's even there for the birth."

"He may surprise you."

"I don't know. Mike is pretty predictable."

"But this is something he's never experienced before. When I went into labor with Maggie and I couldn't find anyone to take me to the hospital, I could have called a cab and just gone through with it all by myself. I was already prepared to do just that. At the last minute, though, I realized I didn't want to be alone. So I called Bobby and he came right over to get me. I told him he only had to stay until someone else came. If I had called Dad, he would have done what he had to in order to be there when I needed him. But Bobby said he'd stay, and I wanted him to. The poor guy had no idea what to do to help me. He wanted to do something...anything. He hated to see me in all that pain. But when they brought Maggie in and laid her in his arms...something in him changed, Carolyn. I've never seen anything like it."

"Don't tell me you think that could happen with Mike. Come on, Alex. He's not much more than a big kid himself half the time."

"Don't let Bobby fool you. He's not much better. I think that's one reason he's such a great dad. He can get down to their level. His childhood was taken from him so early. Now he gets to live it again through them and he's very good at it."

They laughed and Barek finally sighed. "But look at how he is with you. Tell me he leaves anything to be desired as a husband."

"No, he doesn't. I couldn't ask for more from him in any regard. Don't you think that could happen with Mike?"

"Are you kidding? Hell will freeze over before he ever asks me to marry him."

"Do you want to marry him?"

"I don't know. But it would be nice if he just asked."

"So you can shoot him down? That seems kind of cruel."

"I guess a lot would depend on how he asked. I don't want him to be all sappy--that's just not Mike and I'd feel like he was making fun of the whole thing, which actually would be Mike. But I don't want him to be flippant about it either, and I can see him going either way."

"So what do you want?"

"Sincerity would be nice for a change. This is something I would want him to be serious about. Bobby was sincere, wasn't he?"

"When isn't he? He never pressured me. One marriage ended in tragedy. One marriage _was_ a tragedy. He understood, but he was still willing to give it a shot if I'd have him. After all I'd put him through, he was still willing to marry me. If I live a thousand years, I'll never understand him. But this third time has been a charm. You can't judge a book by its cover, Carolyn. Mike deserves a chance."

Barek sighed. "Well, the ball is in his court now. If he asks and he's not an ass about it, I might just say yes. If he is an ass about it, though, I might just shoot him."

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Logan handed Goren a beer and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "Is this couch comfortable to sleep on?"

"Yeah, it is. Haven't you ever slept on it?"

"Not too often. But something tells me I will be." Goren laughed. "I'm glad you think it's funny. Don't you ever have to sleep on your couch anymore?"

"Only if I happen to fall asleep there."

"How do you do it? Don't even try to tell me you never get in trouble."

"I get in trouble plenty. I'm just very good at apologizing."

"Even if it's not your fault?"

"Even if it's not my fault. I'm not too proud to tell her I'm sorry, and I always mean it. I don't care whose fault it is. I hate to see her upset."

Logan took a drink of his beer. "You're a better man than I am. When she's wrong, I want an apology."

"Then it's a good thing your couch is comfortable. You need to get over that, man. Believe me, it's worth it when you're the one to give in."

Logan flipped his bottle cap up in the air and caught it. "So what about this one, Bobby? Do I say I'm sorry for getting her pregnant?"

"Do you think you should? Is she angry about it?"

"I have no idea how she feels."

"Don't you think you should find out?"

"I'm afraid to. Having kids was never really a part of her life plans. She was always content to be an aunt to Maggie and Tom."

Goren shrugged. "These things happen."

"Did you ever plan to have kids?"

"No. Never."

"But they're the best thing that ever happened to you."

"So is Alex."

"I would never have said that a few years ago. I thought her marriage to Ricky was gonna be the end of you, until Maggie was born. Maggie changed everything for you."

Goren took a long drink and shifted uncomfortably. And he did what he always did when he wanted to avoid a topic; he changed the subject. "Have you given any more thought to marriage?"

Logan let him get away with it. He understood how uncomfortable it was for him to talk about the time his wife had spent married to Ricky. He let him turn the subject to one _he_ was uncomfortable with, hoping it would help to lessen the discomfort for him. "Let's face it, Bobby. I drive her up a wall. Why would she want to be saddled with me, too?"

"How do you feel about it?"

"Getting married? It scares the hell out of me."

"So you're opposed to it?"

One more drink and his beer was empty. "I don't know what to think." He got up and went into the kitchen, returning with two more beers. He handed one to Goren and opened the other. "I listened to Lennie grouse about marriage for years. I've watched marriages fall apart left and right all over the place. Then I see Deakins and his wife, and there's a couple that made it and they still love each other. And when I see you and Alex...well, you guys are more the exception than the rule."

"You told me it's different with Carolyn."

"It is. But will I ruin a great thing by asking her to marry me? I have no idea what the hell she expects from me."

Goren rubbed his jaw then opened his second beer. "I think you need to decide first if you want to marry her. Then you give her the option of saying yes or no."

"What did you do?"

"I'd have married her anytime. That was a no-brainer for me. But I didn't put any pressure on her. I know what a hard time she's had with marriage. I just told her I was willing if she wanted to try it one more time."

"I can't see Barek wanting to be stuck with me for the rest of her life."

"She already is stuck with you, Mike. She's having your child."

"I can be a great dad without being married. You were."

Goren raised his hands. He wasn't going to argue. "Whatever. It's your relationship."

Logan was quiet for a long minute. "So you really think I ought to ask?"

"Yeah. I do."

Logan finished his beer and heaved a sigh. His life was now more complicated than he had ever wanted it to become.


	3. Morning Thoughts

Logan rolled over in his bed, reaching toward what he now thought of as her side. His hand came down on empty air. He opened his eyes, then remembered it was Saturday and she'd spent the night with Alex and the kids. Bobby had talked about heading home last night, and he wondered if he did. When he'd gone to bed, he was still in the living room. He gave up even trying to predict anything that guy would do, but he found himself hoping he'd stayed. He was still confused and uncertain about things, and it really helped him to talk to Goren about it. He got up and went into the bathroom; then he pulled on a pair of sweatpants. Out in the living room, he was glad to see Goren sleeping on the couch. By the time the coffee started brewing, he could hear him moving about. "You hungry?"

"Not really. I think I'm just gonna head home."

Logan went into the living room as Goren pulled on his shirt and began buttoning it. Logan said, "You miss her."

It wasn't a question.He nodded. "I miss them."

"What would you say if I told you I missed Carolyn?"

Goren looked up, his fingers halting on the last button. "You do?"

Logan sighed and leaned his shoulder against the wall. "This is all uncharted territory for me. Hell, I've been playing the game for years, and now someone has gone and changed all the rules. I turned over toward her this morning and I noticed she wasn't there. That's _her_ side of the bed, man. Even when she's not here, I don't sleep on it, and it's my bed...well, it used to be, anyway. I used to sleep in the big fat middle of it. Now I keep to my side. It used to be my girlfriends were always shoving me over and complaining I hogged the bed."

Goren finished with his last button and headed past Logan into the kitchen. He poured a cup of coffee for each of them. "What do you have for breakfast?"

"I thought you were going home."

"Maybe I'll wait a little while...give Alex a chance to get over being annoyed that I wasn't there at 5:30 to get up with Maggie and give her waffles."

"I'm okay, you know."

"I know. But you thought about what we discussed last night."

Logan eyed him suspiciously. "So?"

"You made your decision."

"How the hell do you _do_ that?"

"Do what?"

"Read my mind. It's really unsettling, you know."

Goren laughed. "Never mind breakfast. We'll grab a bite over on Fifth Avenue."

"What's on Fifth Avenue?"

"It's just off Fifth, actually. A nice little jewelry store. The owner's a buddy of mine."

"Dammit, Goren. How the hell did you know?"

Goren smiled. "I knew she had your heart, Mike. And she's got a place in your life. You'd already decided last night."

Logan looked up from his coffee cup. "What if she says no?"

"Do you think she will?"

"Are you asking me to predict her? You've got to be kidding me."

"You love her."

"So?"

"Does she love you?"

"She says the words."

"But you don't believe her."

"I don't know. I want to. But it's one of those things that's too good to be true."

"Like the idea that Alex could ever love me?"

That gave Logan pause to think. He made an excellent point. At one time, Goren never believed his partner could ever love him the way she did now...the way he had always loved her. "Did you believe her when she told you she loved you?"

"Not always. I used to think she was just saying it to make me feel better, and it never worked. It was a long time before I really started to believe her."

"But you do now."

"Every time. Even when she's so mad she forgets how to talk, I know she still loves me."

"She still gets that mad at you?"

"Of course. I married her, Mike. I didn't change her. She still reacts passionately to strong emotion, positive or negative."

"Carolyn's like that, too. I have the bruises to prove it."

Goren laughed. "Go get dressed so we can get going."

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Barek hated needing to sleep in...and then _still_ waking up tired. So she always woke up annoyed. Logan always thought it was something he did--and when she thought about it, it actually _was_ something he did--but it wasn't something she could hold against him. After all, she had an equal hand in it. She made yet another trip to the bathroom, before heading out to the kitchen where Alex was busy scrambling eggs.

"I didn't make any sausage today. I remember how much my pregnant stomach hated sausage. You want eggs or oatmeal? I think there may be some frosted flakes left if Bobby didn't finish them off yesterday."

"I think I'll have a glass of milk and wait a little while until my stomach declares itself."

"Mama!"

She went to the doorway and looked at Tom in his high chair. "What is it, baby?"

"Mick, pees!"

"Okay. I'll give you your milk with your eggs."

He just smiled and she couldn't help seeing Bobby in that happy little face. She suddenly missed her husband. "I love you, Tom," she said with a smile.

"Ub-u, too!"

Laughing, she returned to the stove. Barek was smiling. "Motherhood suits you. Where's Maggie?"

"Playing in her room and waiting for Daddy to get home. She had breakfast around dawn. I hate it when Bobby's not home first thing in the morning."

Barek leaned against the counter with her glass and asked, "Do you ever resent Bobby?"

"What? Why on earth would I resent him?"

"I see how very close Maggie has always been to him. How do you not resent that bond?"

Eames sighed as she spooned eggs into Tommy's bowl and added a piece of toast. She set the bowl in front of him with a sippy cup of milk and kissed his head. "I've never resented it, and I'm happy to see Tommy developing that same closeness with him."

"But don't you ever feel, I don't know...left out?"

"Never. Believe me, I don't want for love and affection around here. They come to me for things equally as often as they go to him. Now sometimes it annoys me because he gives in to them so readily, but that's just Bobby. That's why I reserve the right to overrule him at any time, and all three of them know it. But both kids' faces light up just as much when they see me as when they see him." She leaned against the counter by the sinkand picked up her coffee cup. "You never saw Ricky with her, Carolyn. He _never_ held her, never made time for her. He barely even spoke to her except to tell her to be quiet. Why do you think she spent so much time at Bobby's apartment and most of the rest of the time at Dad's. Bobby and Dad have always loved her and they loved having her around. I never worried about her when she was with either one of them. Bobby never called me to ask what to do with her. Not once. But I have no doubt they love us equally. Do you know what they do when they wake up in the middle of the night and need comfort?"

"They go to him."

"No. They'll go over to his side of the bed just because he wakes easier. But he'll lift them into the bed and they snuggle down in the middle of the bed between us. That is where they love to be most: with the both of us."

"That sounds...nice. Comfortable." She sighed. "I'm just...afraid, Alex. I'm afraid this baby will prefer Mike and I'll be jealous and take it out on him. I don't want that to happen. And what if things go wrong, and Mike and I don't make it over the long haul? Then what?"

"He'll always be the baby's father. Nothing will change that."

"After the baby comes, things between us will change, right?"

"To an extent, yes."

"Suppose he resents that, or blames me for it?"

Eames' smile was gentle. "Don't dwell on everything that can go wrong, Carolyn. You'll drive yourself crazy. Focus on how right things can be. And don't worry about Mike. From what I've seen, you can manage him quite well. He's calmed down a lot since you've been partners. The only time he gets in trouble now is when he and Bobby go off together."

Barek laughed. "Isn't that the truth."

"Don't worry. I think you need to communicate with each other, starting, like, now. As long as you talk things through, I don't see why you can't figure out whatever comes up. Don't withdraw from him. It drives me nuts when Bobby does that. You do love him, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, there isn't much else you need. Talk to him. Make sure you're both on the same page. It'll all work out."

"I hope you're right, Alex. It's hard enough managing Mike sometimes. Now with a baby..." She sighed. "You're right. We have to talk about it before we do anything else." She refilled her glass and asked, "You said you have oatmeal?"


	4. Bull's Bling

**A/N: caseyswife wanted to see the jewelry store scene, so here it is :-)  
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They heard the bell softly chime when they opened the door and stepped into the small jewlery store. A blue velvet curtain hung over a doorway behind the counter and it fluttered for a moment before being brushed aside by a strong arm. The man that followed that arm was not a big man, like Goren and Logan were, but he was powerfully built. He certainly didn't look like a jewler, Logan reflected. Of course, Lewis didn't look like a mechanic, either. Like Alex, he marveled at Bobby's odd assortment of old friends. "Bobby!" the man exclaimed, flipping up a section of counter and stepping onto the showroom floor, enveloping Goren in a powerful bearhug. "How's the wife?"

"Fine, Bull. This is my friend, Mike Logan. Mike, this is Bull Dunbar."

Logan shook his hand. As he expected, Bull had a powerful grip. "Nice to meet you."

"From the look of you, I would say you're a cop, like Bobby."

Logan nodded. "We work in the same squad." His curiosity getting the better of him, he asked, "Why do they call you Bull?"

Both Bull and Goren laughed. Goren answered, "Well, if you ask Lewis, he'll tell you it's because he's built like a bulldozer. The rest of us call him Bull because he's so much like a bull."

"Yeah, big, stubborn and stupid...at least I am when I try to hold my own with Bobby. I don't seem so smart next to him."

Logan snorted. "Who does?"

Bull grinned widely. "Well, the only one I can think of is Alex. Of course she cheats."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "It's not quite fair when she just shuts his brain down, is it?"

They laughed and Goren nudged Logan with his shoulder. Bull leaned back against a counter and said, "So, what can I help you boys with?"

Logan fidgeted and Goren shook his head. "He wants an engagement ring."

"No way...congrats, man."

"Tell me that if she says yes."

"Come over here, Mike." He pointed toward the far counter as he stepped back behind the counters that ringed the showroom. "We'll find you the perfect ring, and she'll have to say yes."

"Nothing too flashy," Logan warned. "I want her to know I'm serious and if I give her a rock the size of Mount Everest...well, I shudder to think where she'd shove it."

Bull laughed. "An understated gal, eh?"

"A tough ass cop, that's what she is."

"Ah, kinda like Alex, huh?"

"Kinda. She used to be FBI."

"Okay..." Bull pulled out a tray and selected several rings, laying them out on a cloth for Logan to inspect.

Logan was impressed. "Nice."

"I don't stock crap. I have a few pieces I think are over-the-top for some of the businessmen that find their way in here, but most of what I carry is stuff I think is classy. What do you think, Bobby?"

"I agree. That's why I brought you here, Mike. You'll find something she'll like."

Bull looked up at Goren. "How about you, man? Gonna get something for Alex?"

"I've been thinking about it."

Bull laughed. "Still? What is it with you guys? Ya gotta take the bull by the horns, boys."

Logan gave him a look of mock horror. "What? And get gored? No thank you, man."

"Wimps."

Now Goren laughed. "You've met my wife. Carolyn is just like her in a lot of ways."

"Alex squared? Lewis would be in heaven."

"Fortunately, they like Lewis."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "They have never given him a reason to be afraid of them."

"I'm not afraid of my wife," Goren protested.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Piss her off and then tell me that."

"She's like a hurricane, Mike. You don't fear a hurricane. You respect it."

"Yeah...you respect it and then get the hell out of its path."

"Exactly."

All three men laughed. Bull looked back up at Goren. "You still thinking along the lines of what we talked about back around Christmas?"

"Something like that."

"Hang on a sec." Bull disappeared into the back of the store.

Logan didn't look up from the rings. "What? You gonna goldplate her badge?"

"Not quite."

When Bull returned, he had a small ring box with him. He handed it to Goren, who opened it and smiled. "Your design?"

"You bet."

"Expect her to come in and thank you."

Logan looked up. "Let's see."

Goren handed the box to him. Inside was a simple gold band engraved with a design that looked like a vine. Set in the center of the vine's main branch were two stones, both bright and flawless. The first one was an emerald, the second a blue stone he didn't recognize. "The green one is an emerald, right?"

"Right."

"So what's the blue one?"

"Blue topaz. It's one of two birthstones for December."

"What's the other one?"

"Turquoise. I chose the topaz because it's a crystal, like the emerald. I think it balances the ring better."

Logan smiled and handed the box back. "God, I hope Carolyn never tries to compare me to you. I'll be sunk for sure."

Goren frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Tell me why you're getting that ring."

"Because Alex told me she wanted to get a mother's ring someday."

"A comment made in passing, right?"

"I guess so."

"I don't do subtle hints, Bobby. You should know that by now. I'm the kind of guy who needs to get hit between the eyes."

"You'll learn."

Logan looked down at the rings and shook his head. "You're talking about teaching an old dog, set in his ways. That's gonna take a lot of time and effort, not to mention a sledge hammer or two."

"I have a couple of baseball bats."

"They'll work." He picked up a ring and said, "Ok, genius. Come here."

Goren stepped to his side and Bull leaned on the counter, studying the ring Logan had in the palm of his hand. Goren nodded his approval. It had four small diamonds in recessed settings around a single larger stone that was more prominent but still understated. "Nice choice, Mike. I think she'll like it."

"Can I quote you on that?"

"Be a little more confident, man. The ring's a nice touch, but it's the step toward commitment that will mean the most to her."

Logan chuckled. "Yeah, especially coming from a dog like me." He sighed and handed the ring to Bull. "Okay, Bull. This is the one."

With a smile, Bull took the ring. "You got it, Mike."

While they waited for Bull to ring them up, Goren asked, "So, when do you plan on asking her?"

"Well, tonight I plan to take Maggie to dinner. This isn't something you do with an audience, and if I'm gonna crash and burn, I don't want witnesses. I'll find time."

Goren sighed and rolled his eyes. "You don't find time, Mike. You make time...the right time. You find someplace special and you create the right moment."

"You wanna do it for me?"

"Not even. I already did it once and that was plenty for me."

Logan sighed. "How the hell do you create a moment?"

"You have dated before, haven't you?"

"Very funny. Dating is a world of difference from this."

"You never wanted to get married before?"

"I'm still in shock I want to get married _this_ time. I'm guessing this is a little more involved than 'your place or mine,' isn't it?"

"Well, it takes a lot more thought and at least some tact. You don't hand her the ring and say 'Let's get hitched, baby'."

"Have I told you before how screwed I am?"

Twenty minutes later, they left Bull's store and headed for Goren's apartment. Logan felt committed already, and he wasn't sure it was a good thing, but he wasn't convinced it was a bad thing either. _Create a moment, my ass,_ he mused. He had enough sense to know you didn't propose over a crime scene, but beyond that...he was really going to have to put some thought into it. This moment was going to be all his. Succeed or fail, it was all going to be on him. And that thought made him more than just a little nervous.


	5. It's A Date

It was midafternoon when the door opened and Goren and Logan walked in to the apartment. Goren had called and told Eames it would be after lunch before they got there. She didn't question him; he always explained himself eventually. And she knew how important it was for him to spend time with Logan...especially now, when Logan was so unsure and unsettled about his life. He had always been there for Goren. She would never interfere when Logan needed him.

Maggie heard the door first and came running from her room. "Daddy!"

Tommy was right on her heels. "Dada!"

Eames and Barek came out of the kitchen as he caught his children. They hugged him tight, then jumped from his arms to Logan's. "Uncle Mike! You comed, too!" Maggie exclaimed happily.

With a grin and a giggle, Tommy yelled, "My!"

Logan laughed as he set the kids down. "I swear every time that kid calls my name I think he's claiming me."

"Maybe he is," Goren laughed as he folded his arms around his wife and gave her a kiss. "Everything okay?"

"Fine."

"Did Maggie have you up early?"

"Have you ever known her to sleep in?"

"Sorry."

Barek had approached Logan, sliding her arm around his waist and resting her head on his chest. He smiled and hugged her. "You feeling better?"

"At the moment. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

Reluctantly, he released her. Goren dropped onto the couch and welcomed both children as they climbed onto his lap. "I missed you, Daddy," Maggie declared.

"Me, too!" Tom insisted.

Goren smiled. "I missed you monkeys, too."

"Really?" she asked, pushing her hands into his chest.

He laughed and poked her belly. "Really."

Logan sat on the couch near them and Tommy crawled over to climb into his lap. The baby snuggled against him and he sighed. It was a great feeling to be loved by children. He glanced down the hall in time to see Barek follow Eames into the bedroom. He hoped they weren't plotting anything...he was unsettled enough. He kissed Tommy's head. He felt very uncertain about how he was going to handle this whole thing, and it wasn't just his parenting skills that he questioned. He wanted to be the right man for Barek, but he sure sucked at anticipating her needs. He had no idea how Goren was able to know what Eames was thinking when he couldn't even tell when Barek was getting annoyed until it was too late. He also worried about these kids. He loved them, and he didn't want to neglect them when the baby came along. Goren kept reassuring him, telling him the kids would be the ones helping him with the baby. They would never feel neglected. Logan just wasn't convinced.

"Hey, bunny. Come here."

She climbed from her father's lap over to his as Tom stood up and jumped at Goren, who caught him and buried his face in the boy's neck. Tommy squealed happily and wrapped his arms around his father's head. Logan kissed Maggie and said, "How would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?"

She bounced on his lap. "Yes! We will have fun with you!"

"We?"

"Yes. Me and my baby, silly."

"Ah...okay." She never left out her brother. "You and your baby, then. Sound like a plan, Tom?"

Tommy smiled and clapped his hands. "My!"

"I'll be glad when you can say Mike."

"My!"

"Right."

Maggie looked at Goren. "We can go with Uncle Mike, right, Daddy?"

"Of course."

"Will you and Mommy be okay? You might get lonely."

"I'm sure we can manage, mouse."

She smiled again. "Come on, Tommy! We gotta get ready!"

She slid from Logan's lap as Goren set Tommy on the floor. They both took off at a run, with Maggie hollaring toward her parents' room, "Mommy! We gotta get ready!"

Eames came out of the room. "Who has to get ready for what?"

"My, Mama!" Tommy explained.

"Oh, okay." She glanced toward the living room from Maggie's doorway. "That explains everything. I'll be right there, guys."

Goren smiled at her as she and Barek came into the living room. "What was that all about?" Eames asked.

"I asked Maggie out to dinner and she told me that she and her baby would love to go," Logan explained.

Eames laughed. "You can't forget about her baby, Mike."

"No kidding." He looked at Barek. "What about you, Carolyn? Are you busy tonight?"

"What's the matter, Logan? Can't handle them both?"

"Not at all. I want you to come with us."

"Suppose I don't feel up to it?"

"Then I'm taking Goren because there's no way I can handle both of them."

Eames and Barek both laughed. Logan glanced at Goren, who looked amused. Barek answered, "All right, Logan. It's a date."

"A what?"

Laughing again, the women headed toward Maggie's room. Logan looked at Goren. "They get a kick out of that, don't they?"

"Yeah, they do." He leaned back. "You're gonna have a baby with her, Mike, and you're going to ask her to marry you. Maybe a date is in order."

Logan sighed and looked down the hall. "She's never gonna say yes."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If she says no, you've lost nothing."

"What about my dignity?"

"What dignity?"

"Good point. But if she says yes, I'm liable to have a heart attack."

"It's not that bad, Mike. It's kind of reassuring, knowing who you'll be waking up with every day for the rest of your life. No more guessing games. It's nice to be able to call someone you really love your wife."

Logan sighed. "You make it sound...not so frightening."

"It's not, if you really love her."

Logan fidgeted uncomfortably. _If you really love her..._ He was fully convinced that he did. Now, if only she loved him like that, too...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Logan carried a high chair over to the table. "Any restaurant in the city and she wants pizza."

He held his hands out to Tommy, who jumped at him from Barek's lap. Setting the baby in the high chair, he handed him a spoon and slid in beside Maggie. He'd once made the mistake of letting Maggie sit alone on the opposite side of the table from him, and he would never do _that_ again. Granted she was older now, and she was a rare kid who actually learned from her mistakes, but he preferred not to take chances...particularly when he was wearing a decent suit. He slid the kinife out of her silverware bundle as she asked, "Don't you like pizza, Uncle Mike?"

"Sure I do. But let me tell you a secret, sweetheart. When a guy lets you choose any restaurant in the city, you go to Spago or some expensive steak joint."

"But I like pizza."

Logan laughed and kissed her head. "A girl who knows what she wants."

The waitress approached their table, smiling at Tommy, who was banging his spoon on the tray in front of him and laughing. "Are we ready to order?"

Logan looked at Barek. "After you."

"Are you feeling generous today?"

"I'm not even going to presume to guess what your stomach can handle."

"Smart man. Cheese lasagne, please, and iced tea with lemon."

He smiled at her, then looked at the waitress. "And a cheese pie, with Sprite for the kids and coffee for me."

Barek laughed softly as the waitress walked away. "Sprite?"

"I'm not giving these two caffeine. No way."

------------------------

By the time they were done eating, Logan had still not said a word. He wasn't sure exactly how to bring it up, so Barek helped him. "Maggie, Uncle Mike has something to tell you."

Logan gave her an annoyed look but she just smiled at him. He sighed and turned to Maggie, who was looking at him expectantly. "Um, you remember how Mommy went and got you a baby, and you had Tommy?"

"Yes. Mommy got me a good baby."

"Yes, she did. And you know how Tommy is Mommy and Daddy's boy, just like you're Mommy and Daddy's girl?"

"Uh-huh. I hafta share Mommy and Daddy. But it's okay 'cause Tommy's gotta share 'em, too." She leaned closer and said quietly, "I didn' think I'd like sharin' Daddy, but it's okay. Tommy doesn't hog him and and I try not to, too."

Logan laughed. God, he loved this kid. "Well...now Aunt Carolyn and I are going to take a turn."

She looked confused. "Sharin' Daddy?"

He laughed again. "No, bunny. Getting a baby."

Maggie looked surprised. "You're gonna get me a baby, too?"

Logan glanced at Barek, who was smiling. Whether she was grinning at Maggie's innocent words or his obvious discomfort, he had no idea. Something told him it was a little bit of both. But she gave him a nod and he answered Maggie. "Yes, we are."

She looked at Barek. "You mean your tummy is gonna get big, like Mommy's did?"

"Yes, Maggie."

"An' I'll have another baby like Tommy?"

"Not quite," Logan explained. "This baby will call Aunt Carolyn Mommy and me Daddy. So you won't have to share Mommy and Daddy so much."

"Just you and Aunt Carolyn?"

"Yeah...and Mommy and Daddy just a little."

She gave it some thought before turning her face back up toward his. "This baby will love you like I love Daddy?"

"Right."

She looked thoughtful again before she finally nodded. "I think that's good, Uncle Mike. You need a baby to call you Daddy. My daddy needs me and you gotta need someone, too."

Logan was caught totally off-guard by Maggie's reasoning. Sometimes he forgot how much like her father she really was. "I have Aunt Carolyn," he reasoned.

"But that's diff'rent. Daddy telled me about diff'rent kinds-a love. You love Aunt Carolyn like Daddy loves Mommy, and she loves you, too. But a baby is diff'rent an' you need a baby to love you."

Logan looked at Barek. He could only hope that she loved him like Alex loved Bobby, and he had no idea she was thinking the same thing about him, never even daring to hope Mike could love her with anything close to the same passion Bobby felt for his wife. He looked back at Maggie. "So you don't mind sharing us?"

"No, 'cause you'll still love us."

He hugged Maggie and kissed her head. "You know, sometimes it's a good thing that you're like your daddy. That sounds like the same reasoning he uses sometimes. I'm really gonna be in trouble in a couple of years when you know what you're doing."


	6. The Moment Creates Itself

The ceiling, what he could see of it in the glow of the streetlight that came in the window, wasn't any more interesting at three in the morning than it was at nine at night. Logan had committed himself when he decided to ask Barek to marry him. He was pleased with the ring, certain she would love it. He still had trouble seeing her accepting his proposal, though. He wanted to get it right the first time, unable to see himself asking her four or five times so that she would accept just to shut him up. Sure it showed persistence, but the way he saw it, wearing her down to acceptance was a step in the direction of failure. If she didn't love him enough to marry him by now, he doubted she ever would. _Create a moment._ How did you do that? He sighed softly. Well...he decided against asking her during or after a meal. He shuddered to think of the blow his ego would take if he proposed and she jumped up to run for the bathroom. No...definitely not during a meal. The park...hmmm...she loved the park. Yeah...that was a good idea. Ok..._where_ was taken care of.

In the bed beside him, she turned over toward him. Her hand slid across his abdomen and he brought his arm down to encircle her. "Mmmm...you're awake?" she murmured.

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

"Okay." She snuggled closer. "Why are you up?"

"Just thinking. I couldn't sleep so it seemed like the thing to do."

"What are you thinking about?"

"You."

She shifted her position so that her head rested on his shoulder. Absently, her hand caressed his side. "Is that good or bad?"

He kissed her head. "Good...Always good." He sighed softly, content. "Can I ask you something, Carolyn?"

"Sure."

"Are you happy about the baby or do you spend your days trying not to shoot me for doing this to you?"

He was relieved that she remained in his arms and didn't pull away. Her voice was quiet. "I won't lie to you, Mike. This has taken some adjustment. Yes, my first knee-jerk reaction did involve a knee-jerk. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I cannot assign you more than half the blame."

"Well, thanks for that, I think. But you still haven't told me how you feel. I'm glad I don't have to sleep in Kevlar, but are you happy?"

"Does that matter, Mike?"

"It does to me."

"Why?"

How did she manage to turn the conversation around so that it was about him, instead of her? But he answered her question with a simple, honest statement. "Because you matter to me and I want you to be happy."

Her hand halted on his side and she raised her head off his shoulder. That made him nervous. How on earth could he possibly have done something wrong? "What?"

Rolling over, she partially straddled his body and crossed her arms over his chest. Resting her chin on her arms she said, "As many times as you have said 'I love you,' Mike, what you just said is the closest thing to love I have ever heard coming from you."

Okay...now he was utterly confused, and she could see that, even in the dim light that bathed the room. She could hear it when he stuttered several false starts, attempting to reply. He gave up, and she said, "Mike, if we didn't have this baby and I chose to step out of your life, how would you feel?"

He stared at her, blinking in disbelief. Was she thinking of leaving him? He swallowed down his panic, but not before she saw it. "I'm not leaving. I just want you to think about this. I want you to think about how you feel and answer me. How would you feel?"

He sifted the fingers of his right hand through the waves of silken hair on her head and studied her face. She was beautiful. "Lost," he answered honestly, and then he wondered where the hell that had come from. He was even more surprised when he realized that he meant it.

She looked equally surprised. "I would expect you to move on."

"Move on to what?"

"Oh, come on, Logan. You're a charming pretty boy. Tell me you wouldn't be sweet talking some busty waitress into your bed two weeks after I left."

"Carolyn, I don't see us as some casual fling. I don't know about you, but I've put a lot of myself into this. You aren't just some bimbo I put up with to get sex from. You're a little more to me than that."

"Really...so what am I?"

"What do you want to be?"

"Don't even pull that shit with me, Logan. Answer me."

A thousand things ran through his mind at once and he finally reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. He wasn't sure how the conversation had found its way around to _him_ when he wanted it to be about _her_. He felt like he was floundering out at sea with no land in sight and not so much as a compass to find his way. Create a moment, hell. The goddam moment created itself. Sliding from underneath her, he walked to the dresser and slid open the top drawer. Returning to the bed with his hand closed around something blue, he sat down. He reached his free hand toward her, sliding it behind her head to draw her closer so he could kiss her. He opted for a gentle, loving kiss, laced with subdued passion and a promise of more. She uttered a disappointed groan when he pulled back. "I know what you are to me, Carolyn, and I know what I want you to be. I'm not good with words and I really don't know how to say how I feel. So..." He slid the velvet box into her hand. "Maybe this can take the place of the words I can't find."

She opened the box and stared at the ring nestled into the velvet inside the box. Rolling onto her back against the pillows, she continued to stare at the ring. He fidgeted nervously. "I'm dying here, Carolyn. _Say_ something. Anything."

When she looked at him, her eyes were bright with tears. "I never thought you had this in you, Mike."

"What? The guts to ask you to marry me?"

"No, idiot. The sensitivity to do it right."

"Okay, Carolyn...remember who you're talking to here. Does this mean you're saying yes?"

He hesitated to get his hopes up. He still could not imagine her saying yes, his uncertainty fueled by a lifetime of insecurity that he kept well hidden beneath the cocky bravado he turned to the world. She laid a hand on his cheek and kissed him softly. "It means I'm saying yes."

"No way..." He still couldn't believe it.

"Yes, way."

With a whoop of pure joy, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight, kissing her deeply. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes. "You're sure about this?"

"Yes, Mike. I'm sure."

Jumping up, he grabbed the phone. "Who are you calling at this hour?"

"Hey, if he can call me at 3am to tell me Tommy cut a tooth, I can call him about this!"


	7. Early Morning Ruminations

**A/N: Sorry this update was so long in coming. I got stuck on where to go next, so I decided to end it with this one and introduce baby Logan in another story. Enjoy!**

* * *

Laying on his back in the dim light of the new morning, Logan watched the ceiling...again. He was becoming overly familiar with the cracks and contours of his bedroom ceiling. _She said yes_, he mused. _She said yes!_

He was still amazed. Over the past few years, he had watched Bobby self-destruct until, finally, he got what he had always longed for: a family. A real family. The deep and unconditional love of a woman he adored beyond anyone else. The unyielding love of not just one, but two beautiful children. The guy had it all now, and he was finally happy. And Logan was happy for him. The years between Eames' marriage and her divorce, with few brief exceptions, had been difficult. He had stepped into a friendship with Goren more out of necessity than desire, but it had been a good thing. A life-saving thing. He knew it was their friendship that had slowed Bobby's downward slide into a lonely pit of despair. But he was equally aware that it was his daughter who had pulled him out of it. _Maggie_. God, if his kid was half the explosion of love and affection that one was...well, he'd die a happy man. He couldn't imagine loving a child more than he loved that one, but they all told him he would. _It's different when the child is yours, Mike,_ Bobby had said. His mind returned to the conversation.

_Right, _he shot back._ You tell me you loved Maggie any less before you knew she was yours. _

Bobby had gotten uncharacteristically silent and still as he thought about it. _That was different._

_How? You didn't know she was yours until that last divorce hearing. And then you had a friggin' meltdown._

_That wasn't because she was mine._

_Oh, bullshit._

_It wasn't. It was...more because I couldn't see how. I didn't remember...I still don't._

_Well, I do. And so do the girls._

Goren shifted uncomfortably. _We had an audience?_

Logan laughed. _No, idiot. We know what happened because we saw it building up to that. I know how drunk you were, and I knew you'd never be able to say no to her in that state. She was fed up with everything, even back then, and she really needed you. It was a good thing, and a great thing came of it._

_You'll get no argument about that._

_So come on. Tell me that anything changed for you when you found out she was yours._

_It's different, Mike. In my heart, she always was mine, so nothing really changed for me. Finding out the truth only answered some questions. It never changed how I felt. _

_I rest my case._

It was Alex, who knew first-hand the kind of love he did for a child that wasn't hers, who had convinced him that it was different. Only Maggie and Tommy were closer to her than her nephew was. He understood how she could have loved Jake as if he was her own, because in a very real way he almost was. But the reality of it was that he wasn't. Until Maggie came along, there was a void inside her that no one but a child of her own could fill. It had caused her a great deal of anguish to think that little girl had not been conceived in love, until she found out that, indeed, she had. The fact that Bobby had given her Maggie had served only to deepen the love she already felt for him.

Logan sighed, returning to the present, to his feeling of overwhelming amazement that Carolyn had accepted his proposal. He had never expected to have what Bobby did. In his own way, he had always traveled down his own road of self-destruction. Lots of girlfriends, lots of booze, lots of one-night stands. Then Eames got married. He had no idea that his self-imposed role as Bobby's caretaker would stop his own downward slide, or that Maggie would give him a more optimistic outlook on life. In a way, she had given him whatever it had taken for him to fall in love, something he knew he had never done before. He had always been certain his mother had destroyed his ability to truly love. Maggie had restored that ability. Not only had he fallen in love, but he had opened himself up to being loved. And, damn...life had never been better for him!

He switched his gaze to the woman curled in the bed beside him. Last night, he had discovered a small swelling in her abdomen that had never been there before. Under that slight bump, life grew. A life he had helped to create. It was amazing and terrifying all at the same time. He was fully responsible for a little life. What this child grew to be, he would have a direct hand in. How frightening was that? But at the same time, he resolved to give this child a life he had never had...a life he was certain he would have had if his father had lived. His childhood dreams had been full of _what ifs_. And the biggest _what if _of all was: _what if Dad had lived? _All his life, he had known on some level that Dad would have taken him away, far from the horrors of his abusive, alcoholic mother. His young life would have been very different. And his adult life, too...perhaps he would never have developed the rage he felt deep inside, the rage he sometimes lost his grip on. Like on the steps of the courthouse...the slip that had cost him ten years of his life and his career. It was Jimmy Deakins who had pulled him from that mire and given him a second chance. He tried very hard not to slip again.

_Deakins_...oh, God...what was he going to say? Another set of partners stepping into a marriage and a family life with each other. They would be able to live for years on the milk that could be supplied by the cow he was going to have. And it wasn't like they could hide it anymore. Sure it was easy to hide when it was just emotions that had to be hidden. Now...now there were, well, consequences. That little swelling was going to continue to grow until there was no hiding it. A manifestation of love for the world to see. He couldn't help feeling the pride that came with that. A father...he was going to be a father.

Rolling lightly onto his side, he kissed her forehead and let his hand stray across that part of her that cradled a part of him. She stirred, turning her face up toward his to kiss him. "Good morning."

He smiled. Yes, it was a good morning. He found her lips with his and welcomed the new day with love.

_fin._


End file.
